“如果放在今天，我的领养申请都不会被批准。但母亲给中国政府写了封信，充分说明了一个四肢瘫痪的男人也可以成为好父亲理由，然后领养申请就被接受了。
我从小就知道这个故事。父亲24岁时出了一场严重的车祸。母亲在重症监护室做护士时认识了他。她说她最先注意到的是他的冷静。大部分人在听到自己以后再也不能走路时会大哭——但父亲却默不作声。我记忆里他一直都是这样的，特别冷静和清醒。他的教育方式是‘袖手旁观’，他没有别的选择，只能用语言来引导我。
我该学走路时，他就说：‘站起来走走，小公主。’然后我就乖乖的照做了。我骑单车是他通过解释单车的物理原理教会的。后来我的问题变得更复杂了，但他总是以他同样的方式陪伴着我。如果我因为考试惊慌失措，他就会跟我赌一美元，说我能通过。这都成了我们的规律。每当我心里没底时，他就跟我赌一美元。
随着我的焦虑越来越严重，他又学了心理学。他会跟我讲应对策略，会说类似这样的话：‘你是不是太往坏处想了？’‘你以前挂过科吗？’‘你有什么证据证明这次会跟一起不一样吗？’我不喜欢太情绪化。我不希望让他觉得自己是使我心情烦躁的原因。如果他都能适应四肢瘫痪的生活，为什么我就不能适应做一个四肢瘫痪的人的女儿呢？可是真的太难了。
我从很小的时候，就得帮他做许多事。而我又很内向。我跟别人看起来也不一样。这让我压力很大。但他为我做了他所能做的一切。用他唯一知道的方法——鼓励我，信任我。
2017年8月，他开始病得很重。是某种癌症，但我们都没检查清楚。因为我们知道他撑不过化疗。在他最后的日子里，我坐在他床边，填着我的法学院申请表。当然我也很心慌。我确信自己不会被任何一所学校录取。但他一直安慰我。结果证明他是对的。虽然他没撑到出结果的时候，但他就是知道。‘我跟你赌一美元，’他对我说。”
“The adoption wouldn’t even have gotten approved today. But Mom wrote a letter to the Chinese government explaining why a quadriplegic man could be a good father, and the application was accepted. I’ve known the story my entire life. Dad got in a bad car accident when he was twenty-four. And Mom met him while working as a nurse in the ICU. She said his calmness was the first thing she noticed. Most people cry when they’re told they’ll never walk again—but Dad was silent. He was like that my entire life. So calm and level-headed. His parenting style was to‘sit back and watch.’ He had no other choice. He could only guide me with his words. When it was time for me to walk, he just said:‘Stand up and walk, Princess.’ And I did. He taught me to ride a bike by explaining the physics of it. My problems eventually became more complex, but he was always there in his same way. If I was panicking over a test, he’d bet me a dollar that I could pass it. That became our thing. Whenever I was feeling unsure, he’d bet me a dollar. As my anxiety got worse, he studied psychology. He’d walk me through coping strategies. He’d say things like:‘Are you catastrophizing this?’,‘Have you ever failed a class before?’,‘What evidence do you have that this time will be different?’ I hated being the emotional one. I never wanted him to feel like the reason I was messed up. If he could handle being a quadriplegic, why couldn’t I cope with being the daughter of one? But it was so hard. From a young age, I had to help him with so much. And I was such as shy kid. I looked different than everyone else. It was a lot of stress. But he did everything he could for me. In the only way he knew how— by encouraging me, and believing in me. He started getting really sick in August of2017. It was some kind of cancer, but we didn’t even get it checked. Because we knew he couldn’t survive the chemo. I sat at the foot of his bed during his final days, filling out my law school applications. Of course I was panicking. I was convinced that I wouldn’t get accepted anywhere. But he kept reassuring me. And he was right. Even if he didn’t live to see the results, he knew.‘I’ll bet you a dollar,’ he told me.”
